Harry, Draco, and Muffins: The Muffin Incident
by Jade19
Summary: Draco loves Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins. Harry’s favorite has always been Lemon Poppy Seed. A coincidence: I think not.


Muffins - HOW I LOVE THEE!! This is an accomplice to 'No Words Needed', you could read that to find out what happens to those two after this (. I know my calling now - TO WRITE COMEDY!!  
  
Disclaimer - IdontownHarryPotter - bai! ::Quickly evades Guy and Second Guy::  
  
Title - Harry, Draco, and Muffins: The Muffin Incident Author - Mystic Rose Rating - PG-13 Pairings - HP/DM; mentions of HP/variety of other girls; RW/HG Book - 5th book Teaser - Draco loves Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins. Harry's favorite has always been Lemon Poppy Seed. A coincidence: I think not. Chapters - 1 of the Harry, Draco, and Muffins series ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Quote of the Day:  
  
'Those who try and seek God on the 11th hour DIE at 10:30' - I found it on a bumper sticker in the parking lot of my apartment building ^_^ ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Five years ago, it happened. 'It' of course would be the union of two mortal enemies into a blissful relationship called love. We now tell the story of a one Harry Potter and one Draco Potter (he's referring to himself as that for now, the wedding is in a few weeks) who we then Draco Malfoy in a tale of how even love can break through the barriers. But what broke the barriers? Muffins, naturally. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Five years ago.  
  
"What's the matter with me?" A distressed Harry questioned his friend, Ron. He was sitting on his bed, Ron sitting on his own, across from him. "I mean, why can't I be in a decent relationship, you know? I mean, I can defeat Voldemort a hundred times, go against Malfoy in a sparring match every day, but I can't keep a single girl in my arms." He sighed. He, to put it simply, had been dumped. Again. This time it was sweet ol' Ginny, a girl he had trusted and sincerely liked. He thought that his luck with girls all started out with Cho. Then came Susan Bones, a Hufflepuff in his year. Then Lillian Peterburg, a Ravenclaw prefect in her 6th year. Misty Carlson, a fellow Gryffindor in her 4th year joined the crowd. Lavender and Parvati also joined in, sooner or later. He had even gone out with a Slytherin once (Beatrice Christians, 5th year. Her name didn't do her justice - she was an Atheist). All dumped him after two months. What compelled him to pick the girls he knew would break his heart, he didn't know. Maybe he wasn't even meant for a girl - but he didn't care anymore. He just knew one thing. He, Harry Potter, was a loser in love. It was the one thing Ron had beaten him at (with a steady girlfriend of Hermione since summer), and although he tried not to flounce it, the fact still remained true. Harry Potter was meant for no one - someone to be looked at, not to be with. Harry groaned, his head resting on his pillow. "There there, Harry. There must be something wrong with them, not you." He assured him. But after 12 break ups in four months; Ron was beginning to get skeptical. "No, I'm quite sure there's something wrong with me. I mean, is it the scar? I know it can't be that hideous - not as hideous as that one Dudley gave me when we were 7 - but still!" He sighed. Ron went over and sat by Harry. He sat there uncomfortably as Harry poured his heart out about women, Ron patting his shoulder awkwardly. He wasn't even listening until he had said the four words that nearly made Ron go into shock. ". I'm done with women." "WHAT?" Ron cried out incredulously, getting up and moving away from him. Shit, oh shit. he thought to himself as he frantically tried to think of any bachelorettes that would be interested in Harry or hadn't dumped him already. Oh yes, and not a Slytherin, anything but a Slytherin. His mind was blank. "You're not serious, of course. You must be joking, you have to be joking." Ron assured Harry (more like him) as he sat down with Harry once more. Harry looked over to the redhead. "Never been more serious in my life, Ron." Harry told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ron let out an 'eeep!' and got up. Harry looked mildly shocked, and Ron immediately tried to make up for it. "I, uhhh, have to meet up with 'Mione. Heh heh, wants to study for Transfiguration, she does." He amended and ran out of there. Harry blinked, looking at the dust that had arisen from Ron's hasty retreat. "That went well." He muttered to himself. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Harry walked casually into the Great Hall. He supposed Ron hadn't told anyone of his change because no one stared at him in the slightest. He walked toward the end of the table where he regularly sat, where Hermione and Ron were currently snogging. They broke apart quickly as soon as they saw Harry approaching. Ron was a bit wary of Harry now, but Hermione didn't mind in the slightest, handing him books she had borrowed from the library. "Uhhhh, 'Changes' by Willa Ironsburg, 'Attraction: What's Right for you' by Dela Flaggeran, and 'Great Wizard with a Great Change' by Lily. Potter?" He questioned aloud, nearly dropping his muffin. He was surprised, he knew his parents were heterosexual. right? Ron looked just as astounded as he was and Hermione quickly explained. "She knew some gay wizards. She wasn't, you know, gay herself." She told them. Ron and Harry let out a sigh of relief. Draco and his cronies cut off Harry's "Thank God, I thought -". Draco was smirking like an idiot and his cronies held identical grins. Draco plucked the book from his fingers, his other hand curled upon a Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffin. Draco raised an eyebrow, although Goyle and Crabbe didn't get it in the slightest. "Why lookie here." He drawled loudly. He had caught the attention of everyone around him. He didn't continue until he had everyone's attention. "Seems The Boy Who Lived is," He paused dramatically. "The Boy Who Liked Boys." He grinned maliciously, tossing the book over to Harry's direction. He was bright red now. "Shut up, Malfoy." He hissed, but it was too late. Whispers arose from every house about his sexual orientation. Draco winked. "Here - have a muffin. Know it's your favorite." He said, tossing a Lemon Poppy Seed muffin towards him. Harry was so paralyzed from shock, he nearly didn't catch what had happened. Thankfully, Hermione did. "How did Malfoy know you liked Lemon Poppy Seed muffins?" ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ The rest of Harry's day was rather miserable to say the least. For one, everyone was mumbling about him even more then usual. Number two, he wasn't even sure that he did prefer guys at all. He groaned. This is such a fucking mess, he thought to himself as he walked into the Potions room. Snape was feeling even more devious then usual. The day that Draco had proved Harry Potter was day was, in his mind, like Christmas. "Hello class. I'm sure we're all done talking about recent events about Harry's preference so now we shall proceed on working on the Iris potion. It changes your eye color to the color of your preference. We'll be working in pairs for this, Slytherin with a Gryffindor." He announced. Groans arose from both houses. "He is such a sadist." Hermione commented, to the two boys beside her. Ron held back a snicker while Harry smiled slightly at this. "Now lets see." He said, walking up and down the aisle that separated Slytherin and Gryffindor. He looked over to Longbottom, who turned white as a sheet and nearly fainted. Seamus had to try and calm him down, he was hyperventilating. "There there Nev." He soothed awkwardly. "Brown and Parkinson; Patil and Goyle; Granger and Bulstrode; Weasley and Crabbe; Longbottom and Zabini; Finnegan and Christians; Thomas and Pinces; and. Potter and Malfoy." He seemed smug about the last pairing. The Gryffindors looked at Harry sympathetically while the Slytherins sneered in delight. "Shit." Harry hissed to Ron and Hermione. "Well, what are you all waiting for? MOVE!" He bellowed and they all met up with their partners. Harry mechanically sat in the empty seat by Draco. Draco raised an eyebrow as Harry mutely began cutting up and concocting the potion by himself. "You have nice eyes." Draco complimented. He watched as Harry nearly cut himself, not the toad intestine. His emerald eyes met his gray orbs. "Thank you." He replied softly and began working again. Draco leaned against the table and pulled out something inside his robe. "Muffin? It's Lemon Poppy Seed." He told him. That's the second time today, Harry thought to himself. "No thanks. I don't know what you've done to it." He answered back, not looking up. Draco winced. "I guess I deserved that." He stated. He set down the muffin and took out another one, this time it was Chocolate Chocolate Chip. He took a bite out of it, brown crumbs on his chin. "Yes, you did. And much more." Harry muttered back. He looked up to get the bat lung and saw Draco eating the muffin. It was almost. seductive in an odd way. He reached up and brushed a few crumbs. He turned a slight pink as he realized what he was doing. "Uhhh - crumbs." He said and began chopping up the bat lung at a surprisingly fast rate. Draco bit his lower lip in a smile, nodding. "A'course. Crumbs." He repeated. His mouth formed a half-smile, finally reaching for a knife to pitch in. "Muffin crumbs."  
  
The two worked in silence and when they were finally done, Harry looked over to Hermione and Bulstrode's cauldron. He let out a sigh of relief. It was a navy blue like theirs. "Now as soon as you're done, I want one of you to test this. Say the words 'Illusionano Concealment Transfigure' after you have drunken the entire potion in one gulp. After transfigure, name the color of your choice. The more specific, the better your chances are of getting the color you want. This potion will be in effect till the end of the day." Snape told them. Harry looked to Draco. "You want to, or do you want me to?" He questioned. Draco took the beaker that was filled with the dark blue potion. "I will. You already have nice eyes." He said. Harry opened his mouth to say something until Snape came over to their cauldron. "Nice, Mr. Malfoy. You may proceed." He simply stated and he left to check the next cauldron. Draco grinned to Harry. "Here we go." And drank it all in one gulp. "Illusionano Concealment Transfigure ice blue." He quickly covered his eyes after that, as if in pain. Then, just as quickly as he covered them, unveiled them. His eyes were still closed, and then he opened them. "Did it work?" he inquired hopefully. Harry's breath caught, numbly nodding. "It worked." He breathed out. If Draco looked good as a gray-eyed blonde, he looked extraordinary as a blue-eyed one. "It. suits you." He got out. Draco let out a sigh of relief. "That's good. I thought I would look absolutely ridiculous." He informed Harry. "Do I look natural?" He inquired. "Uhh, o-of course. Completely natural." He sputtered out, off guard. Draco nodded. He took some more of the potion and put it in the vial. "I know you aren't supposed to have some, but do you want to try?" He offered. Harry raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said I had nice eyes." He reminded. Draco smiled slightly. "You do. You have the nicest eyes I've ever seen. Maybe you could have a nice chestnut brown or something-" He was interrupted by a solemn looking Harry. "My father had brown eyes." He stated. Draco's mouth formed into an 'o'. "Sorry. But hey, we could if you really are the carbon copy of James Potter. With your mother's eyes, of course." He added. He lifted the veil to Harry's lips and he drank it. "Illusionano Concealment Transfigure dark brown." He said, barely audible. Before Draco's very eyes (now ice blue, of course), his eyes turned from an emerald green then got darker till it was a chocolate brown. "Well?" Harry questioned. "Mr. Potter!" Snape bellowed. "There's your answer." Draco mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. Snape walked towards them, his robe bellowing, as usual. "Mr. Malfoy had already taken the potion and you had both passed, much to my surprise. We do not need another JAMES POTTER PROWLING AROUND AT NIGHT!" He yelled. By now, his sickly pale skin had gotten a rosy hue and Draco swore he saw a vein popping out in his left temple. "Sorry, sir." Harry squeaked, not arguing. They had never seen Snape so worked up in their lives and no one was about to cross him. Not even a Potter. "Detention for a week and 40 points from Gryffindor for not following instructions." Snape coldly said, his face turning his regular placid color. "Class dismissed." He declared, his voice just above a whisper but everyone caught it.  
  
"Even I thought Snape was unfair." Draco told Harry as they got out of the classroom. "It worked - a lot better then you thought, but it worked." Draco stated. Harry groaned. "Worked so well I landed myself in detention for a week and 40 points were taken from Gryffindor." He sighed. Draco shrugged, offering him another muffin mutely. "What is up with you and muffins?" Harry demanded, stalking away from him to join the other Gryffindors. Draco stared at him almost wistfully, but Crabbe and Goyle joined him, snapping him from his reverie. "Damn Gryffindors, so fuckin' self-righteous." Goyle snorted. Figures I'd hear that from him - he's smarter then Crabbe. Barely, but he is, Draco thought to himself. Draco nodded. "Yes of course, now what do we have?" He asked them. Crabbe groaned. "Divination - with the Gryffindors again." He moaned. Draco hid a grin. Today's my lucky day, he mused and began walking in the same direction Harry and Ron were. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ As soon as Harry and Draco entered the classroom, Trelawney gasped the back of her head on her forehead. "The past forms of Lucius Malfoy and James Potter have arrived!" She cried in a shrill voice. Draco raised an eyebrow, looking over in Harry's direction. Harry however, was looking at Trelawney in shock. "Huh?" He inquired dumbly. His jaw dropped, and began looking frantically for his dead father. Draco held in a snicker, quiet snorts coming from him. Harry noticed this, and looked over to him. "Where are they?" He inquired. Draco rolled his eyes. "She means us, dumbass." He said from the corner of his mouth. Harry's eyes widened. "Oh. oh. OHHHHHH!" He replied, finally catching on. Draco smacked his forehead. What I put up with. he thought to himself. "Professor - its just Malfoy and myself. We had an Iris potion in Potions." He told her. Trelawney (who seemed to be sweating), got out a handkerchief and dabbed her forehead. "Thank God for that." She said in a voice that was not only not mystifying, it sounded as if she was from the Bronx. Just as quickly, she regained her mystifying composure. "Class, we shall resume to see what our soul mate will be like. I believe the results from yesterday are finished and we may now have a better understanding at who we shall end up with. I will read out each of the results for all of yours." Everyone groaned at that. "Damn - watch me end up with some girl who's a foot taller then me and is somehow related to Goyle or something." Ron sighed. Harry leaned closer to where Ron was. "At least you know it'll be a girl." He replied. Trelawney picked up the first paper. "This is Mr. Weasley's paper. Ahem - you're love will be intelligent and a good friend of yours. She shall be quite logical and friendly and open minded. Towards others she may seem a bit of a snob, but those close to her know otherwise. She will be most likely a brunette with dark eyes and of medium height." She read off, handing the paper to him. Ron grinned. "May as well have said 'Hermione Granger' in big bold letters." He rolled up the paper to show to Hermione later. "She'll probably not believe a word of this rubbish, but she'll be rather flattered." "Ahhh, Mr. Longbottom. You're love shall be someone from the past, a former date or so. She will come from a long line of siblings and will be stubborn. She may not take to you immediately, considering she has other love interests but she'll come around. She will be red headed with brown eyes." Trelawney read off and handed him the paper. Ron gritted his teeth angrily. "Don't you dare go after Ginny." He hissed toward Neville, who gulped nervously toward the Weasley. "Interesting! This is Mr. Potter's. Unlike the others we have read so far, he is meant for another man. He will not be what he seems, rather a man who has many secrets and lies in his past. He was meant to grow up as his heritage had taught him, but he chose otherwise just for his love. He shall woo Mr. Potter in an odd, unique way that has to do. with food? The man will be. blonde and gray-eyed." She whispered out. She and the rest of the class then turned to a stunned Draco. Harry looked to the other side of the room where Draco sat, and their eyes met. Emerald and gray met, and for one second everything seemed to be clear. Then the pale Slytherin looked away, facing Trelawney who was busily looking through the stack for Draco's, he assumed. Ron, who sat a lot farther then he usually did, scooted his chair closer to him. He must have been relieved that Harry didn't fancy him. "Yes, I have found it!" Trelawney announced, holding up Draco's paper triumphantly. "Professor, I thought we were going in order." Whined Lavender. Draco's paper was at the very bottom and she and Parvati didn't appreciate being skipped. "Shut up, Brown." Zabini sneered. He looked to Trelawney. "But I must admit, Brown has a point." Trelawney sent him a look and he immediately shut up. "Mr. Malfoy- oh my! Mr. Potter will be-" She was then cut off by Harry's annoyed glance. "Excuse me Professor, but I may not even be meant for Malfoy. Don't assume it makes us-" " 'All seem foolish'. Your father said the same thing." Trelawney added. "Now back to Mr. Malfoy's paper. His love will seem superior toward him, not only toward other but to himself as well. He will have come from a hard childhood as well, and he will seem to always overshadow him. Har- I mean, the man will seem reluctant at first to accept friendship, but he will yield sooner or later. His strengths are in his good heart and his good judge of character, although they both are his weaknesses. He'll have dark hair and eyes. his eyes will be a reason on why he went through that hardship and is alive today." She finished. Harry furrowed his brow. What do my eyes have to do with Voldemort's attack? He thought to himself. He inwardly groaned. Now I'm thinking that Malfoy and I belong to each other. I'm such a nutcase- St. Mungo's here I come, he contemplated. He looked up and saw that Trelawney's brown eyes were full of glee and mischievous. The same look Parvati or Lavender gets when they try (keyword here is 'try') and set someone up. He tried to scoot his chair backwards as Trelawney began to advance towards him, but when he hit the desk behind him (occupied by Parkinson of course), his chair fell backward. Snickers arose from the Slytherins and looks and words of concern were muttered by the Gryffindors. "You OK, mate?" Ron mumbled towards him as he helped Harry get up and propped the chair back up again. Harry nodded. "My dignity is shattered but I'm breathing aren't I?" He answered back, sitting down. Trelawney was still advancing on him. Harry groaned his head in his hands. "No matter what I do, she just keeps on walking over here." He explained to the confused redhead. "Why don't you just say you're sick and ask to go the Hospital Wing?" Ron inquired. "That's what I usually do." Harry shrugged. "We have Divination on Thursday, too. No escaping her." He replied. Trelawney finally reached the back of the room where the two were. "Mr. Potter, I think that you and Mr. Malfoy should stay after class to work out your relationship (Ron sniggered at this). I'll give you both a note so you will be excused from your next class." She said in her same misty voice. Harry wanted to start shouting about the injustice of it all but kept his mouth shut. He nodded and Trelawney looked over to Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, you shall be able to join?" She said as more of a statement that a question. "Yes Professor." He answered back, much more comfortable about it then Harry. She smiled. "Good." ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ "Thanks a lot, Draco." Harry thanked sarcastically as he sat next to him in Trelawney's classroom. She had decided that those two needed to be alone and moved her 4th year Ravenclaw and Slytherin class to another room. "Don't blame me, Potter, blame Trelawney." He retorted smoothly. Harry glared toward him, trying to balance his quill on his index finger.  
  
"We wouldn't be here if you had said you needed to go to History of Magic or something." He bit back. Draco snorted. "I hate History of Magic and I bet you're Arithmiticy class that Granger forced you into is no picnic either." He replied. Harry looked at him, quizzed. "How'd you know that? Hell, how do you know so much about me?" He demanded. Draco shrugged, looking at his nails that he'd been filing for some time now. " 'Know thine enemy'." He stated. The corner of the blonde's mouth upturned slightly. "Why, did you actually think that it had to do with you?" He said as if he was holding back a laugh. Harry blushed slightly. "But all those times you-" He was stopped by a near tears Draco. "Please Potter. If I wanted to seduce you I'd do this." He said, reaching over and kissing him. Harry was too stunned to do anything and Draco pulled back. "See you around Potter." He said, handing him something, curling his fingers around it. He knew what it was immediately. "Wanna grab a butterbeer over at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday?" He questioned. Draco shrugged. "Why not?" He answered back. Harry uncurled his fingers, looking down at it fondly. It was none other then a Lemon Poppy Seed muffin. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ I bet you're all wondering what happened to this 'couple'. Why they did what was expected of them. They met at the Three Broomsticks and officially got together, with the whole school (well, everyone that mattered that is) watching them, interested. Why did they get together, you may be asking. Well, no one really knows. Draco had always been attracted to the Gryffindor (he admitted this after a week they had became an item). Harry had always felt like there was something more to him. Another question on your mind may be where they are now. They're living together in a flat that they share. Wedding plans, of course, are still in progress. After all, this is a Malfoy-Potter wedding (or, if you hear this from Harry, a Potter-Malfoy wedding). So how did they officially get together? They gave the other's favorite type of muffin, of course. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ::Beams:: Is this good? I know it wasn't as funny as it was supposed to be, but hey, I'll live. I hope you enjoyed this - now go read 'Flutter' if you haven't already!! LOL - I'm a walkin', talkin' billboard. I really hope you guys liked this - I'm thinking about adding a sequel to 'Flutter' (this is a prequel). I mean, I keep on referring to this 'thing' in five years and stuff so I'll say 'now' to the sequel. This could be a series or something! This will be called . Harry, Draco, and Muffins series!! Totally cool, huh? Is it so cool that you have this overwhelming urge to review? . It was worth a shot ::shrug::. . It's quite. ::Looks around suspiciously:: TOO quite. I wonder where Guy and Secon- ::Is cut off by an ambush; courtesy of Guy and Second Guy:: HEY! NO FAIR- CHEATERS!!! ::Tries to unsuccessfully break herself free but to no avail:: Grrrrrrr! Well - remember to review (it would be nice.) and stuff. I hate flames - Even though my element is fire (I'm a Leo). I'm more of a rain, my friend is wind, and my other friend is earth. We have no fire yet. that's odd. Anyway - ACK! NOT THE HAIR - NOT THE HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Your regularly scheduled show has been canceled due to a kidnapping. Thank you. 


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